Abusive Ex Filed A Restraining Order But Hasn't Served The Dvro

Location: California, USA

My SO has an abusive ex-husband who is homeless and mentally unstable. They have been geographically separated for over the past 2 years, with a distance of nearly 400 miles between them (still in CA) They are in the process of divorcing, he served divorce papers about 2 months ago, requesting spousal support. He then told her via email NOT to respond to them (likely so he could obtain a default judgment without any pushback).

She responded to the divorce paperwork, denying his request for support, and effectively prevented any default judgment. He has now filed a domestic violence restraining order against her. Mind you, they have had more than 400 miles between them for the past 2 years and he has never once been in any danger of physical or domestic violence at the hands of his ex-wife.

We also discovered that he recently filed another DVRO against another one of his past partners, one that he never followed through on, so this appears to be his M.O. He has a history of physical and emotional abuse that extends beyond just my partner.

My partner has yet to be served with any restraining order paperwork, and there is no proof of service in the case record. We called the clerk's office this morning just to be sure, and there is no proof of service on record, but the hearing date is still set. It is in less than two weeks, at a courthouse that is 6 hours away.

Before we file for the option to appear remotely and prepare any counter arguments, we need to know if she even has to show up to the hearing or not since she hasn't been served. (we only know about the DVRO because we check the case portal regularly)

The plan is to prepare for the hearing just in case she is served within the next few days, but we're worried that showing up might work against her, since her ex never properly served her. By showing up, we worry it could only help further his whole bogus DVRO story, when it could potentially be left to just die on the vine if he never follows thru with the process of serving her.