Considering Divorce As A Sahm With 3 Kids — Husband Wants To Sell Our House While Mortgage Is Behind. What Should I Do Before Agreeing?

Location: in Florida, St. Lucie County.
I’m looking for advice about my marriage, our house, and what I should do before making any decisions about divorce.
I’ve been living together for the past of 8 year and we’ve been married for 6 years and we have three young children. I have been a stay-at-home mom for the past few years, so my husband has been the solo provider. I stopped working when I got pregnant with our first kid in 2019, I was a nanny
Our marriage has had serious problems for a long time. My husband has always had much more control over our finances. We have never had a joint bank account, I don’t have full access to or knowledge of all of our accounts, debts, business finances, or how much money we actually have. This has left me in a very vulnerable position financially.
There have also been controlling behaviors in the marriage. He believes that because he is the man/provider, he should have the final say in many decisions.
The biggest immediate issue right now is our house. My husband owns a construction business that went through major financial problems. I strongly believe that the main issue was that he started a rap/singer hobby that became kind of an obsession and he would focus majorly on it instead of his business. Employees left, jobs were delayed or had to be repaired, and business income became very inconsistent. All the savings that we had he invested in Crypto and some were used to cover payroll/business expenses and the crypto went down, and eventually he let the employees go and started operating the business mostly by himself.
Because of this, our mortgage fell behind. He tried to resolve the delinquency through loss mitigation with the mortgage servicer but I don’t think he did it right and we got denied. I tried to convince him so I can try to apply for loss mitigation this time but he won’t let me and he’s the only borrower. I tried to convince him to try bankruptcy chapter 13 but he won’t do it either. His business income has recently started becoming more consistent again, and payments are coming in weekly or every other week. However we are almost 90 days behind.
My husband, however, has been pushing strongly to sell our house. It is our only home and where we live with our three children.
What makes me uncomfortable is that his position seems to change. At one point he said he believed he could catch up on the mortgage with money he expects to receive and questioned whether loss mitigation was even necessary. When I stopped focusing on loss mitigation, he immediately started pushing the idea of selling the house again. And he says he won’t be paying for this mortgage for more 27 years.
His plan is essentially to sell the house, use the equity/proceeds, rent for a few years, and supposedly save enough money to eventually buy another house. I’m afraid that once the house is sold, there is no guarantee that the money will actually be preserved for another home. He’s very irresponsible with money.
He told me that I would be the one controlling the money from the sale, but similar promises about financial control/transparency have been made before and were not followed through.
Another thing that concerned me was that he asked me to keep the sale/proceeds secret from other people and tell them that we “lost the house” instead of saying we sold it. His explanation was that he doesn’t want people knowing we would have money because they could become jealous.
I don’t believe selling is necessarily our only option. I would rather try loss mitigation or even try bankruptcy, stabilize the mortgage, understand our complete financial situation, and see whether keeping the house is possible before making such a permanent decision.
At the same time, the state of my marriage has made me seriously consider divorce. I’m worried about what happens to the house/equity, our debts, custody of our children, child support, and my ability to support myself and the kids.
I have been trying to find free or affordable legal help, but so far I haven’t been able to get a lawyer.
My biggest questions are: What should I do BEFORE agreeing to sell the house or signing anything? Should I avoid selling until I’ve spoken with a divorce/family-law attorney? What financial documents should I try to obtain now? And if anyone has been in a similar situation as a stay-at-home parent with limited access to marital finances, what would you recommend doing first?
I’m in Florida.