I’m Four Weeks Postpartum Living In A Dv Women’s Shelter With A Newborn. I Want To File For Child Support And Sole Custody But I Am So Scared

Location: Ontario, Canada

It’s been four weeks since I’ve had my baby and I am so happy to be a mom despite the lack of sleep and exhaustion from breastfeeding. My partner and I have been fighting a lot over littlest things. I would snap every time I see him burp the baby too hard because he gets frustrated when she’s crying and he would angrily plop her into the bassinet, not carefully supporting her neck. He’s also been drinking A LOT since he got into some trouble at work.

Two days ago, his friend came over and made inappropriate jokes about breastfeeding and pregnancy and instead of standing up for me, he just played along with it. It got ugly because I was so mad and upset and felt so disrespected. This is not the first time it has happened. I told him not to touch me and I don’t want anything to do with him. He went ballistic and started yelling and screaming at me, calling me names and punching walls while I was holding and consoling the baby. He said he’s done then asked me to leave the house. I was heartbroken and tried to talk it out, to try therapy or counselling but he just kept insisting I was the problem and that we "just didn't get along". He became emotionally abusive, or maybe he always was. He stonewalled me when I cried and begged him to try to work things out. I‘m already grieving the family I thought we would have. He proceeded to cancel all my cards and left me with nothing. We were planning to get married this September and said he’s not doing it anymore. He’d rather have just the one kid than multiple kids with me and find someone else.

He threatened to call the police for missing person’s report if I try leaving with the baby. I just cried and cried and told him I carried her for more than nine months and it’s not fair that you separate me from her. He then threatened me that if he gets full custody, he would put her up for adoption since he can’t take care of her. At this point, I lost it and I don’t even recognize this man anymore. How can he say that when he knew I was in the foster care system too. I’ve been alone my whole life and it’s cruel that he would do the same for our daughter.

I‘ve been a sahm since being pregnant until now since I had a high risk pregnancy after suffering an early stillbirth last year. I don’t have income or family right now, but I made the decision to leave and called 911 after he went upstairs to sleep because I was worried about safety. I’m staying in a shelter, and I’m doing everything I can to take care of my baby and stay stable.

Police came and connected me to a shelter and CAS, Victim Services and other resources. I can apply for legal aid so I’m working on the legal side of things but I just wanted to hear some advice on what to do in my situation, I’m scared about filing for child support and spousal support (?) He has more than 300k in annual income from his salary and stock investments. He left me with nothing. We were common law and he promised to put me back into nursing school after we have our kids but it’s not gonna happen. I forgot to mention we have a 20 year age gap so he’s 43 and I’m currently 23. I know the judgement from the age difference and I‘ve learned my lesson the worst way so I don’t need to hear any more of that. I only have two friends, no family besides his. I am just at my emotional limit every single day.

I can't believe I ever loved this man. I'm so tired and so depressed but I’m determined to make everything work for my baby.