My Fiancé Was In An Accident And Their Family Trying To Use It To Take Over Their Life

First time poster. Location: Missouri (parents live in Kansas). My fiancé was in an accident and is working on rehabilitation from a brain injury and the family is completely locking me out of my partner’s recovery.

Me (23) and my partner (24) have been together for four years with plans to get married. However, my partner’s family is heavily conservative and does not support our relationship. My partner has made it clear to my family and our friends that they have spent time doing everything that they can to solidify their independence from their family due to past trauma and abuse. Although we are not yet married, we share a lease, bank accounts, and a car title.

After the accident, my partner’s parents have stepped in and have completely prevented me from having any access to my partner. No updates on recovery, nothing, just vague timelines about hospital stays. The parents said my partner will require a year of at home rehab and will “need long term care for their whole life”. They are making plans have my partner moved into their home and are trying to take all of my partner’s belongings from the house my partner and I share. I have been amicable and respectful despite this frustrating situation, but I don’t feel comfortable just giving in to this request, as we share a life, a pet, a house, and belongings together. I don’t believe they are justified to just take my partner’s stuff and leave me in the dust. I feel my partner should have a choice in the matter.

I finally decided to go and visit without notifying the parents, knowing they would try and prevent me from seeing my partner. When I finally got to see my partner in person, for the first time in over a month since the accident, I found that my partner is recovering remarkably well. I was told they have a great chance at a full recovery, contrary to what I was told by the parents. I can attest that I was respectful during the visit and did not try to start any problems with the parents. Unprompted, my partner asked me to stay at the hospital with them, and word for word asked me “to protect them” which I clearly take as they are scared of being taken by their abusive family.

I told the parents I still want to be in my partner's life and continue to visit. And their response was telling me they won't allow me to visit and I need to stop coming to see my partner. They have stopped all contact with me and have their other relatives asking me for all my partners belongings. I am legitimately fearful that they will contact my landlord and essentially break into my home and take whatever they think belongs to my partner while I am out of the house working.

My main issue is the fact that my partner has lost their autonomy, and is facing moving back into a situation that they have expressed previously they do not feel safe in. I am hoping that there is something I can do to set up a patient advocate or some type of legal representation, so that my partner can voice their wants and options on the matter, and maybe have legal help to allow my partner to have the choice to return to our shared house and their old life. My partner has asked me to stay and has previously asked me to advocate for not including their family in medical situations like this. But, since they were in critical condition I reached out to the family anyways, as I didn't expect this to be the outcome. And now the worst case scenario is happening and I feel helpless to do anything to help them.

TLDR: my partner's abusive family has used a car accident as their chance to take control of their life and try to force them back into an abusive household. My partner has voiced their opposition to that, and I am hoping if I can get a patient advocate or some type of legal representation then that would require the family to respect my partners wishes and hopefully let them keep their legal independence and autonomy after their recovery.